Is it safe to come out?

A new day has dawned; the holidays are over!!! The new year is within eye-shot! Like I mentioned in an earlier post, the Christmas spirit eluded me this year. I gave an honest try, baking somewhere around 300 cookies last week, but my steam sputtered out early to until I didn't even have the energy to go to Midnight Mass at the cathedral 5 blocks from my house. Sorry, God, but between not being able to afford Christmas presents, getting a heating bill for twice my average amount due to the recent cold snap, and being too broke to get home for Christmas, I'm inclined to convert to Judaism just to avoid ever having to deal with this crappy holiday again. Blah.

So let's just pretend the last month didn't happen, shall we? Yes. Looking ahead with slightly more optimism, we can convince ourselves that an arbitrary change from 8 to 9 does actually reset the clock to a brighter tomorrow. If nothing else, it's one number closer 2012, to which I say, "Bring it on."

Now, I normally boycott New Year's resolutions on account of my irritation with putting any special significance for life changing decisions on any particular, arbitrary day. However, this year I have decided to partake in this cultural phenomenon. I resolve to seriously reduce my environmental impact, questioning every decision in terms of what's best for the environment. I've always been militant about recycling and only eating organic/free range (my mom totally did it before it was cool), but there are so many more ways I can do better. This line of thinking was sparked by my future mom-in-law giving me one of those super hip metal water bottles, easily my favorite present this year. I was so excited, because oh my god, I have an easy alternative to plastic water bottles now, yay! Even though I always recycle them, this is even better! Now, what else can I do? Well here's a list of things I vow to attempt:

• Completely turn off and unplug everything in my apartment for at least 2 hours every day
• Insulate my windows to cut down on heating use (and cost, double win!)
  
• Get off my ass and go to the farmer's market every Saturday for local produce
• Invest in a Diva Cup to minimize my monthly gift's impact
• Utilize candle light
  
• Watch less TV
• Turn off my computer at night
• Patronize enivronmentally conscious stores
• Sacrifice my individually wrapped string cheese sticks
• Cut down, if not completely eliminate, my sushi consumption
  
• And finally, the hardest one of all, ween myself off smooth, hairless gams
  

Alright, here's hoping for a better, greener and more gainfully employed year for all.

Good riddance 2008, you lousy bastard. 2009, I welcome you with green, open arms!

Impromtu Video Game Review

Have you guys played Little Big Planet yet? It's one of the most challenging games I've played in a while, but also the most rewarding I've played possibly ever. You're a cute little sack poppet running around solving puzzles and trying not to explode in weird little worlds with gorgeous graphics and innovative physics concepts. Even the credits portion is pleasing to the eye. It's beautiful, stimulating, sciency and non-violent all at the same time! Squee!



With all of this weird, chilly weather hitting the bay area, you better believe I'm spending my days curled up on the couch with hot chocolate playing levels of Little Big Planet in between job applications. It's supposed to get down to 33 degrees tonight and it might even snow, which makes kind of happy because it's more like home, but it also makes me really sad for the homeless tonight. The wind coming off the water is bitter cold. Maybe I'll find a soup kitchen that needs a volunteer, because in these sad economic times, we all need to come together and do what we can for each other. Stay warm out there.

Yay Rain!

I think the rainy season finally hit the Bay Area and it's beautiful! It's not snow, but I'll take it. The clouds, I should have taken pictures earlier. Ah well, I am a sad waste of a photojournalism degree. Next time maybe I won't suck and I'll remember to take pictures. Speaking of a sad waste, I'm still unemployed. Oh boy! I graduated a year ago, I've put in hundreds of job applications and STILL haven't gotten an interview call yet. Ha! I feel like such a winner! (A winner is me?) Boo. I'm so broke in fact that I've had to stop spending as much time as I'd like on Etsy and Boing Boing, because they keep showing me the perfect gifts I can't afford to get my loved ones. Thanks guys.

I know I'm in good company though. While yet another Wall Street scandal has hit the presses, the Detroit papers have decided to stop home delivery, California's Republicans are calling for mass layoffs, and even the Gawker affiliates are having to cut back staff and hours, it's not feeling much like Christmas. I've canceled all of the holiday movies from my Netflix queue and I'm inclined to just take down all what little decor I've put up and call it a year. As a state and a country, we are fucked and we're going to continue feeling the drippy, stretched-out, sore orifice of said fucking for quite some time, probably still long after Obama takes office. While I'm looking forward to January 20th as much as any raging liberal, it's going to be long time before Obama will be able to implement his proposed changes in a way that you and I can actually feel.

Sorry for the downer post. Maybe it's the weather; maybe it's the bourbon-spiked eggnog, but I'm cranky and contemplative tonight, so this is it, my triumphant return to news analysis. But just because you all know that I hate to end on a sour note, I give to you the most pleasing intensely NSFW photo gallery I've seen in a long time. Maybe the best things in life really are free.

Sorry Guiz

So, I realize I completely disappeared for a while and I apologize for that. I really couldn't handle the weight of the world for a long time, but I'm back now. I'm STILL unemployed, so I really just don't know what to do next or where I will find myself, but I do know that I need to come back here and write and analyze the news or I'll go crazy again.

Be on the look out. I'm back bishezzzzz!

LSAT of DOOM!!!

It is 10pm on a Wednesday night and I am officially a basketcase. This week has been me drilling for the LSAT I am [finally] taking on Saturday. All the worrying about the test and those damn logic puzzles have completely consumed my brain, and even though I am starved for social contact, I doubt I would be any fun to be around at all right now. I literally can focus on nothing else right now, because I am so paranoid about the exam. Not Sarah Palin, not the starving children of Africa, not Russia; only whether or not I have practiced the right types of puzzles and if I know as much as I think I do. Thankfully, I have a friend taking it the same day as me who has a brain much better suited for the logic puzzles than I and has been giving me help when I start freaking out too hard. Maybe I should just say fuck it with the studying tomorrow and go to the beach. I haven't left the apartment since Sunday ::bangs head on desk repeatedly::

The Sky is Falling! The Sky is Falling!

Who else is burnt out on the news this week? Raise your hands! Between the terrifying state of the economy, Palin-Watch 2008, and threats of a "New Cold War" with Russia, I am actively avoiding the news. I feel like I have the basic gist of anything that could possibly be said: The economy is in the shitter, it's not going to get better for a long time, any past headway gained against terrorism in the Middle East has been completely invalidated, Google is taking over the world, McCain-Palin are incompetent and the apocalypse is nye. Did I pretty much cover it? So yeah, no more news for me for a while. Not even the Daily Show.

This morning, my partner and I were trying to remember who has been bought out by what and who is still standing and between the two of us we could not sort it out. What a mess! The one comment I will make, however, is that I truly hope the $700 billion bail-out does not get approved, because all of those greedy, incompetent boobs made their beds. Let those pigs go lie in them so the fall of capitalism may usher in the revolution! The oligarchical demise is so close I can taste the blood of the guilty and it is yummy, like cotton candy and dreams.

Last week, we got a cat, and today he ate my purse. (If that's not an approriate metaphor for the economy, I don't know what is.) Besides the purse eating, air mattress puncturing, and fish tormenting, he is pretty damn adorable. To distract you from the end of the world I give you:

(I don't actually have any pix of him yet, but that's a pretty accurate representation of The Honorable Sir Worchester Noodle)

Emerging from the Cave of Doom and Gloom: Contemplating a Significant Day

Today is September 11; a sad day of remembrance for many people, but my reason is a little different. It's been a month to the day since my dad died and every day the emotions and realizations are different and raw. The first week I was certainly numb, which was helpful in being a rock for my family, overseeing all of the preparations so no one else had to. The second week, when I returned from Indiana, I was angry, resentful and lost, doing very little beyond watching TV and sleeping. Last week, I started making decisions again, missing my friends and my life. This week, I've made leaps in rejoining the human race, both joining the SCA and becoming the likely candidate for the East Bay representative to the SF IU Alumni Association. Yesterday, I was inexplicably, explosively sad, yet ended up shaking hands with Michael McRobbie, the president of IU and of whom I am a total fangirl (I also met his wife, who is an exquisite lady). Today, I am quietly thoughtful and gearing up to hang out with new SCA folks tonight. Some days I feel really pathetic, but stepping back like this, I think I'm doing remarkably well. Each day is a process and I've just got to embrace the flow, recognizing that some days will be much harder than others.

In regards to that other reason today is significant, I can't believe it's already been 7 years. The way the politicians and pundits keep talking about and summoning fear over it, you'd think it happened last week. Though what happened was tragic and I don't mean to be callous, we as a country need to move on. Every mourning period must evolve for it to be a healing process, but we keep getting sucked back into the yearly loop of desperation and fear. For the people who lost loved ones in World Trade Center attacks, I'm obviously not talking to you, but the rest of us need to let the true mourners have their sadness and we need to move on in regards to foreign policy and homeland security goals. It's tremendous that we have not had another attack since then, but this culture of fear and anxiety is an unhealthy atmosphere to raise a society and it has clouded our judgment on issues like the economy and funding for education. There are other ways to prove our strength as a country that have nothing to do with our military. I hope as this election cycle draws closer to the big dance, the country's eyes can be opened to the possibility of a new day without fear. Be well, America.

My Life is a Dark Comedy [edited]

I decided to delete the original post on the matter, because it was too raw. This was the day my dad died and everything changed. Here is the obituary I wrote. Dad, I hope you have found some sort of peace, because here, you have left everything a mess.

Depression is [not] a Funny Thing

To all of you on whose del.icio.us accounts and RSS feeds I have resided, silent, for the past three months and those who have been subjected to accidentally reading "George Bush Hates Black People" multiple times (Gi), I humbly apologize. I have a handful of dedicated readers and fans who I have let down and frankly there's no damn excuse for my shoddy performance. My bad, kids; it won't happen anymore.

To be perfectly honest, I have been miserably immersed in one of the most serious cases of depression I've experienced since perhaps high school, and though I do not see a light at the end of a tunnel or have any hope that I will someday "get better" and be magically cured of my chronic ailment, I do recognize the profound need for social interaction, no matter how acutely unappealing. Somewhere in my addled brain I love my friends and am thankful for the good things that do exist in my world.

Not being able to find a job in the past 8 months has truly shaken me. I look at my resume and it's perfect. It's sharp; it says things like "2 years at a major publishing house" and "nearly 4 years at a critically acclaimed newspaper." On it is my dual degree and my excellent GPA.
After the "sure thing" at the group home fell through dramatically and painfully, I've applied for every job listing I see that's even remotely related to my experience, but not a single place has replied. My temp agencies have even stopped returning my calls. I feel like a joke. Incomplete. A waste of life.

Now my family is falling apart back in Indiana. Between the floods destroying my hometown and washing away a beloved family pet a month ago, my dad's mental state deteriorating and my grandmother dying a slow, agonizing death of esophageal cancer, things are rough and I am having a really difficult time even getting out of bed. I feel like I've abandoned my family when they need me most and for what? The colossal failure that has been my post-college experience? Despite the love I have for my partner and my friends, was coming out here a mistake? What is wrong with me that I just can't seem to make the right decisions? Just some heavy questions I'm dealing with.

So, I cleared out my meager savings at the urging of my partner, and Wednesday I will be heading home to Indiana for a week to say hello to my family and goodbye to my grandmother. Maybe then I'll be able to put some things to peace and regain some semblance of confidence. I don't know, but I hope something better will be waiting for me when I return.

George Bush Hates Black People

Sure, Kanye West's post-Katrina rant sounded more like the ramblings of a crazy conspiracy theorist than a qualified expert on urban race relations, but the longer I work with inner city youth in West Oakland, the more I see how right Mr. West indeed was. While there are parts of the country where race divides aren't as apparent, where the substantial majority of the poor and rich alike are white (like where I hail from in Indiana), here in Oakland, the race-class divide is disturbingly apparent. The social service I work for currently gives aid to about 150 different homeless and at-risk youth a month, aged between 14-24. And despite an almost equal percentage of black and white citizens in the Oakland area, all but one of our regular clients at the shelter are black or Hispanic kids. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to notice the gross imbalance of those statistics. At the moment, we have a government that refuses to acknowledge the institutionalized racism within the education and incarceration systems, which exhibits itself in the social blights of drug abuse, teen pregnancy, and urban violence.

We are losing entire generations of bright, young black men to the machine of anger and violence, perpetuated by a system that shows them on a daily basis that there is no way out of the cycle for them. Incarceration policies unfairly target the poor, which are, in many cases, young black men. The Bush Administrations policy of accelerated defunding of public schools also unfairly targets poor, urban districts, which have a greater chance of being primarily black or Hispanic children. Where rich, whiter schools have a greater chance of picking up the slack with their tax base when the government defunds their districts, these poorer schools are left to keep it together with the scraps left behind. They can no longer fund the extracurricular arts, sports, and music programs that inspire kids to greater things than the street life. They cannot afford even the most basically qualified teachers, because the cost of living is too high to keep them, and even when the qualified teachers stay on account of charity, their creativity is stifled by the curriculum constraints developed for kids whose experiential frames are vastly different from those accustomed to street life and the gangsta lifestyle.

On top of that, the Bush policy of abstinence only sex ed is doing our impoverished kids a serious disservice, promoting the silence and ignorance around the subject of sexuality and sexual freedom that are already rampant in urban culture. Here's a newsflash: Oakland kids are growing up in a milieu where 13 year old girls are frequently lured into the world of prostitution. And you're telling them to keep it in their pants until marriage?! Come on. These kids deserve to know the truth and be armed with the tools to protect themselves from predators, disease, and peer abuse.

It doesn't matter who gets the Democratic nomination within the next few weeks. Neither one of them will be the magic bullet to fix this issue. It's going to take a lot of hard work, love, and grace from the people who have the choice to look the other way. They are just children, but they are shooting each other in the streets, prostituting each other to pedophiles, and spending their entire lives in jail on account of the three-strikes rule, all because the Bush Administration has aggressively looked the other direction. I'm tired of seeing bright kids come into my office, talking nonchalantly of shooting each other and snorting heroin, because they truly believe they have nothing to live for or to contribute to society.

Hello Consistent Month-Long Gaps

I have been without the interwebs for a month. A MONTH! We moved to a beautiful new place, right in the heart of downtown Oakland and it took weeks for Comcast to come hand us a box and a CD. What?! You went with Comcast?! (you might say) Yes, well. AT&T's system was down (the same system you want us to pay for, you can't even keep running? no thanks) the day we were looking to get hooked up and that made us a little nervous, so we went with the more expensive and fascist Comcast. For now, I cringe at the reality of sending money to one of the less net neutral providers out there, but I truly believe that universal Wi-Fi will be a reality within the next decade. Yes I do.

But for now, I am back up and running and you can expect much more of me. Maybe I'll even blog some more when I get off of work tonight; I have a month's worth of things to say.

Ode to the Neighborhood Skunk

I suppose I am not old enough to know any great truths

In the city there are tight expanses
Of light and buzzing and -scapes
But I get back to the page and I'm lost

Look, I wasn't ready to say goodbye, okay?
I just can't finish this

Commence and cry and fuck me
There remain questions too trite to voice
And protests that whither
Under the weight of resolve

Gagged and bound, we stumble
Ever-onward
Toward some vague hope of silence

Um, coolest bed ever

I don't think I've ever salivated over a bed before, but this hits both my tech fetish and my aesthetic button. I don't just want to have sex on that bed, I want to have sex with that bed.

The site is not in English, but the commercial is, so just scroll down and find the video. It's something else.

Teh Question, Redux

To clarify, the question is not how do you know that you want something but the process by which you reach the realization that you desire. Carry on.

I'm having an Amy Winehouse sort of day

No, no, not THAT kind of Amy Winehouse day, just a day where her sultry voice and Cuban-inspired beats are just what this lonely, unemployed sex goddess needs. I am pretty handy, though, as I fixed my beloved yet fritzy iPod all on my own earlier. Eat that, Steve (Jobs). It's working again which was awesome for public trasiting around the East Bay today, so I got to bop to Ms. Amy on the BART platforms and over-priced ACT buses alike. Yay!

And to clarify, an Amy Winehouse sort of day means I feel heartbroken for a moment, then remember I'm not; I want to be in love, then remember that I am; I want to get fucked up, then remember I want to be a mom and don't want to hurt myself anymore for fear of jeopardizing that beautiful future, etc. It's a lot of conflicting desires. My partner posed an interesting question that's been echoing in my brain for about 5 days now. He asked me what process I go through in deciding what I want. Not the actual getting of what I want, but the deciding part. I honestly couldn't tell him. I don't know, and I've been racking my brain, analyzing my behavior til my eyes cross trying to figure out why I want what I want when I want it, and I'm stuck. So, I pose the question to you, readers, beyond biological urges like sex and food, how do you decide what you want and when posed with conflicting ideals, how does one trump the other?

Hail!

Mitt's out!!! Only one more religious crazy person to go before we have a sane (ish) November election.

Also, there are apparently about 5 different strains of flu tearing apart the Bay Area and I am now on bout #2, because my immune system is not used to the local pathogens. oh boy. I have so high a fever, it feels like all my bones are breaking. Sorry to bitch, but ugh.

Super Fat Tuesday Edition

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It's my Day-After-Birthday!

That is all...

There's Nothing Like the Stomach Flu...

...to remind you of how awesome it is not to have the stomach flu. I've been unbelievably sick for the majority of the week, but I think I might be coming out of it now. All I know is I'm fucking starving; even Mandy Morbid's latest (REALLY NSFW) foray with food is appealing, and I usually can't stand food play. Still does NOT turn me on, but I really want chocolate pudding now. The Jell-O Company should hire her as a spokesperson, their new campaign: "If we're good enough for Mandy's tits, we're good enough for your kids' packed lunches." (Or, alternately, "if we're good enough for Mandy's box, we're good enough for a lunch box." So many possibilities with this one.)

I tell you what though, one thing I always appreciate with Mandy is that it's always obvious she is having a great time. She's a gorgeous gal who enjoys herself and is kind enough to share that joy with the world. God bless Mandy.

On kind of a sad note, the creators of lolsecretz have announced the end of their meme. To the creators, thanks for bringing that special, sardonic bit of joy into the world for the short time you did. It was awesome while it lasted. Or in lolspeak: fangs for teh laffs, lolsecretz. i misses yuo aweddy.

Yes I prefer apartments, but damn...

I have three questions for my upstairs neighbors. wait, make it four.

1. why don't you ever sleep?
2. how can two, 120 lb chicks sound like tap dancing cave trolls wearing squeegee boots whenever you traverse your carpeted living room?
3. why do you play techno at deafeningly high volumes starting precisely at 9:12 a.m. every fucking morning?
4. why does my bathroom smell like bacon every time you shower?

The mind boggles, really.

Happy Blue Monday?

Supposedly, today is the most depressing day of the year and California's weather certainly got the memo; it snapped from a week and a half of gorgeous sunniness to 48 degrees, windy and rainy over night. Boo. DO NOT WANT

I am coping by spending the vast majority of my day in my pj's watching "Dexter" and wrapped in an electric blanket. The news today, however, is no more depressing than usual, that is to say, how could the world possibly get worse barring nuclear holocaust or pandemic flu? Somewhat comforting, no? But that's another post entirely, I'm sure.

The real point of today's brief post is Martin Luther King Jr. We are all well aware that he was an amazing advocate for peace and unity in America (and probable philanderer, but, you know, every Superman has a kryptonite). What you don't hear about is what he vocalized in the last years of his life. While he had won victory after political victory for racial equality in America, he still had a dream of economic equality, a classless society, where the poor could have equal opportunities. For, what good could political desegregation measures do if the children of the poor (and most often black) did not have the money or access to enjoy their newly won rights? It's as if those rights would not exist at all. MLKJ became an increasingly outspoken advocate of socialism and the rise of the working man. Very dangerous stuff in Vietnam-era America, apparently, as these later speeches and sermons were denounced by the government and the media, his reputation shat upon by those who once supported him, and the transcripts spirited away from the history books. We, America, must rectify this injustice by continuing part two of his dream. We must continue to fight for a socialized society, one that offers true equality to the poor of all colors an creeds. The realization of this dream is not a terrible stretch. We have all the tools to accomplish it (money, numbers, ideological solidarity), we must merely believe in the dream and be willing to die for it. For to neglect his dream while raising him up as a saint makes us as guilty as his assassins.

As I generally like to end on a slightly up note, this is the funniest picture I've seen in ages:

That guy in the power tie, if you can't tell, is President Bush, and that little girl's face is priceless. Also, LolSecretz is back up and running after a two-week glitch. I am embarrassingly ecstatic about this state of affairs.

Where DID the last week go?

Well, it's lost somewhere in between job hunting in Berkeley and fuck-all, I have no idea. Since I've been back, I've fallen into this weird crack in the time space continuum. I need a job for no other reason than to know what day it is. And to break the monotony of catching up on episodes of Dexter in between sending pleading cover letters and pseudo-desperate applications to potential employers while my roommates are at work and school. On the plus side, while most of the help-wanted ads kind of make me want to wander onto oncoming 880 traffic, there is some funny shit on there, like ads for fluffers (if you don't know, I'm not gonna tell you), editorial internships that require a minimum PhD, and this guy. I was definitely laughing hysterically by the end of today's search.

Also, since I just got back into town, may I politely suggest that someone get me this as a welcome home gift. Seriously I love it.

It's a Vajayjay couch!!

It was posted on Craigslist but has now been curiously flagged for removal. Who is the fucking killjoy?! Are fluffy pussies too risk-AY for Craig? Grrrrr.... I left the Midwest specifically to get away from this sort of closed-minded cock-blocking.

Came across this chick today. She does some really neat things with her camera, narcissism (in the most delicious way possible) and something resembling photoshop. Also, her blog is really sexy. Check her out.

A Reason to Vote....

I know there is a fair amount of contention within the anarchist community on whether voting while living in a democratic system is a tool to monkeywrench from the inside or an abominable act of compliance. Can a moral act within a corrupt system still be considered moral or is its essential nature fundamentally immoral due its existence within an oppressive system? As my partner would say, it is a thing. I certainly believe in situational purity, that when the two options are equally evil, abstention is the most moral response. Such was the case for me in the Kerry-Bush election. (Some blame for the last four years of awful must be placed on the Democrats' shoulders for nominating an unpopular, stilted windbag in such a key election year. They seem to have learned their lesson, though, with the overwhelmingly qualified pool of candidates this year. Yummy.) However, when one option is so overwhelmingly evil and the other might actually facilitate some positive change, it is immoral to passively allow the overwhelming evil to overcome, which brings me to the point of this post.

If Mike Huckabee wins the Republican bid, as he very well may, any anarchist who does not do everything in his or her power to prevent his ascent will be guilty on account of apathy for the moral carnage guaranteed to follow. He is an evangelical preacher. The evangelicals hate women, GLBTQ anything, art, music, science, yoga, vegetarians, the environment, and everything that is good and wholesome and loving in the world. (Caveat: if people choose to believe in such things, I will fight furiously for their right to do so, even though they would not return the favor for me.) I just can't imagine an evangelical preacher being able to separate his socially dangerous beliefs from his oath to uphold the constitution, since separation of church and state has been interpreted in there and it seems like the concepts of secular government and evangelism are mutually exclusive. In fact, Huckabee has gained such round support on the basis of his intolerant, fundamentalist rhetoric. If you don't vote against him, the insane backwater folks who believe a woman's only place is silent in the home, GLBTQ individuals are morally infected and should be quarantined, expression should be quelled, and science is the devil's work will win, at a dear cost to liberty, beauty, and America's place in the world. If this ominous warning has not changed your mind about showing up at the polls, I hope this video and column by the fine folks at AlterNet might. Included are actual clips of what Mike Huckabee professes and why we should all be very afraid.

I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!

Where did the first week of the New Year get off to? Well there was a little shimmy down Southern Indiana way for a quiet New Year's Eve with two of my very dearest friends. We checked on streaming video of the pyramids in Egypt (midnight Indiana time=misty pre-dawn in Egypt), polished off a bottle of Asti and played a strange version of charades just the three of us until the wee hours. January first was Bloomington's monthly Axis of Evil Industrial/Goth Dance Party, heralding in the Year of the Rat, a night that involved so much hotness and such epic fun, it should have been illegal. Nom. Seriously, if you hail from the Bloomington area, keep your ears open. AoE happens every month at Jake's Nightclub and it's certainly my favorite thing about that town. Well, actually it has to be a tie between AoE and the Runcible Spoon. ::sigh, nostalgia:

After a few days more of post-graduation bumming around, I collected my belongings and winged it back West, just in time for the Bay Area rainstorm of the decade. I think everyone's electricity has been restored as of late last night. Yeesh. Though I did find it amusing that Oakland's power was only out for a couple of hours while Marin's was out for 4 days. I suppose that's what happens when the wealthy make their domain absolutely inaccessible. Heh.

With that, I am finally home again, but in a new part of town that's taking a little time adjusting to. The streets are all wonky and traffic is particularly awful. You better believe I'll be relying heavily on public transit. I claim it's because mass transit is better for the environment, but really, riding in cars around here is simply terrifying. And I like the wooooooooosh of the BART train.

So, that's my incredibly long-winded excuse for being MIA for a week. The holidays are behind us, the new year has more than begun, in a very wet and tumultuous manner. With floods, the Gulf of Tonkin...errr...Persian Gulf incident, and the New Hampshire double-debates (did anyone else get that sickening, end-is-near, pit in the stomach while watching that freak show?) 2008 has certainly made its presence known. War with Iran? The first non-rich white guy presidency? Will cataclysmic mud slides slough California off into the ocean? Stay tuned for more!

Sidenote: My favorite column of the New Year has been this little gem by Julie Burchill for The Guardian. She is brilliant in every respect. I don't normally make New Year's resolutions, but this year, I have resolved to take every word of that column to heart. I have already been putting it into practice and, quite frankly, it is delicious. All hail the return of the glamorous cunt!